My phone rings today and I see the base number on my caller ID and I get happy thinking that Josh actually found a spare minute in his day to give me a call. Nope, it was a kid from the base health clinic telling me that his records show that I’m delinquent in getting a pap smear. Seriously?! They call you for that? I can’t even get a call about the results of my biopsy (negative, by the way, after I went in and asked for the results in person), but they track speculum avoiders?
First of all, I’m not delinquent. It’s an every 3 year kind of thing now and Camille just turned 3 and I had one after I gave birth to her. Do I have a copy of that paperwork? Does everyone else carry around results of their lab tests? I sure don’t. But sure, I’ll look around for it and when I find it (probably about the time there is peace in the Middle East) I’ll bring it to you.
The kid (I can say that because these corpsmen are barely older than Calvin) wasn’t easily discouraged and wanted to schedule me right then for an appointment “any time in the next few weeks. The schedule is wide open.” On a day when the printer isn’t working and crumples every sheet that feeds through it and the 3 year old only wants to watch TV and dissolves into tears if I suggest anything else, I was not interested in signing myself up for anything other than a Mentalist marathon and a cappuccino.
I’ll get back to you. Maybe when I’m actually delinquent.