I wish I could share with you the text message thread that one of my sisters started after my last blog post. If you think I’m funny, they clearly come from the same gene pool. One sister said I should write a book about our childhood and then proceeded to cast famous actresses for each of us for the starring roles since my book was sure to be a smash hit and Warner Bros would pick it up and make it into a movie. She was very generous and cast this Robin as me:
When I was Calvin’s age, I was consumed with stress about my future. Where would I go to college? Were my grades good enough to get into the best colleges? What was I going to be when I grew up? How would I know what I was supposed to do with my life?
You would think as a parent that this phase of life would bring the same stresses. Maybe even more so because this being who I’m responsible for is going to go out and fly or fall based on how well I prepared him for life. But a few weeks ago, as Calvin was preparing his class schedule for his Junior year, I realized that I’m not worried about him at all.
I’m the mom that told him to take a less strenuous schedule (who needs two math classes at the same time?!) and encouraged him to look at junior college or even a gap year for service or ministry. I don’t want him to be consumed by the same fears that I had at his age and I could see him headed in that direction. The idea that every decision at this age means the difference between success and failure is a myth. There are a lot of different paths to a successful adulthood, especially when you aren’t measuring in dollars.
Josh and I are kind of in the same spot in our lives. Two years from now, as our oldest hits college age, Josh will hit retirement age. We’re not sure what he’s going to do “when he grows up.” We know he will be “graduating” from the Marine Corps, but we don’t know where we’ll go, what job he will do, or what our lives will look like as normal people instead of active duty. It would be easy to be worried or stressed or feel the pressure to make the Right Decisions, but in the same way, I think there are several paths to a successful phase 2 of life. I want Josh to be able to do something he loves, something that gives him more freedom, a sense of purpose, and we won’t be measuring success in dollars this time either. I’m hoping that 20 years of experience has given us wisdom and perspective to approach this transition with peace.