September 2016 – robinchartier

What about Meels

Here I am, sitting on the floor in the corner of a Kid’s Church classroom, looking like a helicopter nutter mom. Or a homeless person looking for a warm wall to lean against. The room is full of happy and excited 6 year olds, except for the one with tears running down her cheeks looking like she just watched someone shoot Bambi’s mother. That one is mine.

This is what I do –Baby Step my kid all the way to normalcy.

The teacher this week was very firmly, “No, mother must stay out. She will be fine. Don’t worry.”

I am not worried, but I know my kid and we’ve already tried it your way the first week. She cried the entire time. No one needs to deal with that as they are trying to teach a room full of easily distractible children. I explained that she would cry and get all worked up and the teacher replied, “Then we will send her to you in service.” Let me save you the trouble of sending her since I already know the outcome of that experiment. She’d be thrilled to be in big church with me.

The teacher wanted me to talk to the kids church coordinator and get permission to stay and I tried to explain that I already had, but then thankfully a teacher from the week before arrived and asked if I was sitting in the back of the room again? I took that as permission and settled in on the floor as Camille stopped freaking out, sobbing, and reaching for me once she realized that I wasn’t leaving.

I’m not staying with Camille because I’m worried about her. I’m trying to teach her to be comfortable in a new place. We have an agreement — I will stay in the back of the room, she will participate in class, and we will ignore each other. It lets her brain relax enough to actually be present, enjoy what is going on, and creates a new safe space for her. Yes, I know it doesn’t make sense. Yes it would be easier to have her sit with me in big church every week, something she begs to do, but it wouldn’t be the best thing for her in the long run. She’s going to face new things her entire life and I’m trying to give her the tools to eventually face them alone. Preferably without meds, though thank God they are available if she ever needs them.

Oh crap. Why is she wiping away tears again? They threw her a curve ball by making a fuss about me being here at the beginning of class. It’s totally screwing up the progress we had made the week before.

So close and yet so far. Good thing I don’t care what people think, but it is frustrating when someone who doesn’t know her is convinced if I just left that she would get over it. I understand that may happen with most kids, but she is a 1%er. We went through the same routine when we moved to Bahrain — I sat in the back of Kid’s Church for so many weeks that I eventually ended up teaching long after she was comfortable in class alone.

Baby steps. That’s my plan for the next 2 weeks. (Or longer if it takes longer). Both at school and church. She’s going to take the bus and I’m going to drive to school and hang out on a bench, reading a book. We will ignore each other and ideally she will get past her irrational fear that grips her before school starts every day.

Update:
^^^ This plan was a massive failure. Instead of being able to relax, she spent her time before school looking for me, making sure that I was still there, and coming over and crying about every little thing. 10 minutes of crying that set me up for a day of exhaustion. Since she was crying whether I was there or not, I bought her some special art supplies and said she could color or draw before school and if she cried, oh well. She managed OK on Thursday and her wonderful teacher made her a chart titled “Happy Days are Here to Stay” where she gets a sticker for tear free days (with an allowance for a few tears before school).

Trust me, this is a huge improvement.

I promised to swing by to meet her for lunch since I wasn’t going in the morning and we had a tear free event. Hallelujah.

Four weeks of school are behind us. I’m hoping 5 is the magic number!

sick call

I’ve been sick for almost a month now. That hasn’t exactly helped with my love for this country, even though I know it’s not at fault. I’d been surviving on 800mg of Motrin every 6 hours and then I ran out and had to wait 24 hours for my Costco-size replacement bottle to come in the mail. (I had ordered in anticipation of running out and then lost in a game of Amazon Chicken when my package was delayed).

So happy. Yes, they have ibuprofen here, but I would have to look up the British name and go to a pharmacy (they don’t have over the counter medicines in grocery stores) and I was feeling lazy. And I resist taking unknown brands of medicine when possible. All the stuff I write about nutty Camille? Apple, meet Tree.

So now I’m stocked up with my favorite brand of Motrin, which I need because I coughed myself into some crazy rib pain that is either a pulled/torn ligament or pleurisy (thanks, Dr. Google). Whatever it is, it hurts like someone is stabbing me in the side if I move too fast or breathe too deeply.

On the bright side, I’ve gone from coughing until I pee to just coughing and grabbing my side in pain.

Josh made me go to the medical clinic where they gave me a breathing treatment to try and clear the wheeziness out of my lungs. I wasn’t a fan.

I sat in the office, sucking on a plastic pipe full of mystery medicine while this label on a supply cart stared back at me. Yep, that about sums it up.

After all that, the only thing that is going to help is Motrin and time — same as the past 3 weeks. It’s sad, but also funny as I move around the house mumbling, “ow. ow. ow. cough-OUCH!” every few minutes. I don’t get sick very often, but when I do, I go all in.

Back dated

I found a post that I didn’t publish before we left Bahrain. Nothing special — just a wrap-up of Ramadan fun. This link will take you to it: June Ramadan

Beachside paradise

A vacation. It finally happened. The kids had a 3 day holiday scheduled for EID and we didn’t have any plans other than to sit around and wait for our household goods to arrive. A bit depressing right? Then we got word that the government had declared a 5 day holiday for the public sector, meaning mandatory school closure AND 5 days off for Josh too so I ran to the phone and called him at work. “We need to go somewhere. Can you figure something out?” I’m normally the trip planner, but my brain has been fuzzy with a head cold and 1/2 working lungs so I deferred to the Middle East expert to pick a location for a road trip.

He called back 30 minutes later with a destination, lodging taken care of, and a plan for 3 nights away at the beach in the northernmost Emirate, Ras al Khaima.

Sunday morning we hopped in the car and headed out for our first road trip in 4 years. We realized Camille hasn’t developed any road trip stamina when 20 minutes into the ride she was crying about being “starving” and wanting to stop at McDonald’s. Since it was only a 2 hour journey, we told her she had to wait until we were at least half way and then we would get her a Happy Meal to sustain her for the rest of the journey.

And of course a stop at McDonald’s means we have to get ice cream — 25 cents a cone!

Back on the highway blazed through the sandy dunes, headed north.

We instituted a NO ELECTRONICS rule for this trip so they had to rely on old fashioned entertainment.

In just over 2 hours, we arrived at our beautiful resort destination.

It’s hot and humid, but I don’t even care. We’re at the beach!

The water was a bathtub — 95 degrees. That might seem like bad combination, heat and hot salt water, but tropical ocean water always delights me. After a lifetime of being chilled by the Pacific it’s a welcome change.

sea swells and tiny waves!

After exploring the beach, we headed up to our villa on the hill and unpacked. Basically we only brought swimsuits, blankets for the kids to sleep on, and a crap-ton of snacks because plenty of food keeps the minions happy.

After a sunset swim in the pool (with an amazing view overlooking the ocean) we went to the hotel restaurant for the buffet dinner. Again, it’s all about the food.

We were at a resort, but the kids were glamping. Josh and I got the bedroom with the bed and the kids all camped on the living room floor. We marathoned Stranger Things among the pile of blankets, ate movie snacks, and laughed all evening. We should do this more often.

Hello lo, lo, lo, lo …

Yes, there’s an echo in here. Supposedly our shipment is getting on a boat and leaving Bahrain today, but I’m not holding my breath. Nothing is ever delivered as promised in the Middle East or the military and I’ve got both working against me in this case.

We have a couch to sit on and beds to sleep on

but not much else.

View when we walk in the front door . . .

The someday living room/music room

We bought the beanbag so the kids have somewhere to sit and study upstairs.

We have everything we need, but nothing to make it feel like home. That’s OK, I know this part of a move is always hard. I could go back and read the same kind of posts that I’ve written every time we’ve moved in the Middle East in the summer. It’s hot, we are stuck inside with nothing to do, and feel a bit disconnected. It was true in Oman, Bahrain, and now here in UAE. Egypt was our easiest transition and I think it’s because we moved in December, which was perfect. Walking and exploring weather from the moment we landed. Someday I’ll be able to walk around outside. In November.

I’m still sick, but getting better. It finally clicked that I had strep, not just a bad sore throat, so Josh went to the pharmacy and bought some miracle antibiotics for me. My days have mostly been full of naps and coughing. I did drive myself to the gym once without getting lost and I half worked out (in between wheezing) so yay, me. Another personal victory was driving myself to church to go to the women’s Bible study group which wasn’t fun because I dread doing new things with new people, but I survived. I hate the New Church feeling — church is supposed to feel like home and family and going to a new one never feels right. TIME, time, time, time . . . that’s the only thing that fixes it. And doing things with strangers because that’s how they go from being strangers to friends. Eventually.

I haven’t been blogging because there’s nothing interesting to tell. Camille is still crying every day — 3 weeks into school. We had one good day where she only cried when she was bitten by an ant on the playground, but since then she has cried even more. We removed the waterpark bribe because it was too much pressure for her. She was focusing on that and stressing too much about it and that was making her cry. Someday she won’t cry. I hope.

The boys are great. Happy and busy. One playing rugby, one swimming, and one in soccer. Josh’s work is great and he’s happy. It’s just the girlie part of the family that needs a little fixing. We are planning a family road trip over the EID vacation next week and I’m hoping that helps lighten our mood a bit. And I’m really, really hoping that our stuff will be ready to be delivered after the holiday break.