I have had much that I could write about, but this election season has been a bit mentally taxing. I really feel for all of you who are steeped in it and can’t escape the hurling of insults from both sides in the news, newspapers, in public and even with family and friends. At least I can shut down my computer to escape (though, like a train wreck, it’s been almost impossible to look away). I naively thought that the drama would end on Wednesday, once the election was over, but I guess America has decided to renew its contract with WWE and go another few rounds.
I’ve been going to a women’s bible study group at church for the past 2 months. It’s one of the things that I made myself do as part of getting settled in our new home/new church. The quicker I get involved, the sooner this place feels like family (inshallah).
I miss my old women’s study group. We used to meet, eat, chat, laugh, discuss current events, recommend clothing, and then “whoops! We need to get started on our study before we run out of time!” We were all American military wives — some of us with babies, some with older kids, and some with no kids at all, but we all were coming from a similar basic place. I used to see them at church, at school, around town . . . sometimes we’d meet for lunch just for fun.
My new group is a bit overwhelming. We meet at church as a large group and then break up into small groups for prayer and discussion. There is no chit chat about clothes or what series to watch on Netflix. They get right down to it. In our group of 10 there are 4 women from Africa (and I know Africa isn’t a country — but they will generalize themselves and say “in Africa, we . . . “), 2 from China, 1 from the Philippines, and myself and 2 others from the US. It’s like I’m part of a fascinating cultural study every week as our approaches to the Bible, prayer, and spiritual life are wildly different.
We start our group discussion in prayer. Not a short American “open us in a word of prayer” prayer, but an extended, everyone prays, deeply involved prayer. The first week the leader prayed for 5 minutes, covering all sorts of world issues and then said, “Amen.” I picked my head up, ready to start the discussion, but everyone else’s head was still bowed and then the woman next to her started her prayer. 20 minutes later we had finally made it around the table and then we started our discussion — even though our hour was 1/2 over. It didn’t matter though because . . .
Africans don’t keep time. Yes, I’m generalizing, but it’s a thing. We are scheduled to end at 12, but we never end before 12:20. They might look at the clock and it’s 12:05 and we’re only on question 2 out of 5, but God bless them, they will keep going and hit every single question before we come to a close.
My sweet friend from Uganda once was meeting me for coffee and she came rushing in 2 minutes after 10 saying, “I told my husband ‘I have to be on time to meet Robin because Americans keep time. I don’t know how you do it, but Americans always keep time.'” Yes, we do. On the odd week that an American is leading the group discussion, I can guarantee that we will be finished within 5 minutes of the scheduled ending time, even if that means skipping a few questions along the way or cutting the discussion short. It’s part of our nature.
Our current study is about prayer and we were discussing how we make prayer a priority in our lives. One of the women (from Nigeria) shared that she wakes up, makes her bed (so she’s not tempted to get back into it) and then she has a prayer spot on her couch where she goes to pray. “I will pray for my family and other prayer requests on my list. And then after 2 hours, I’ll start my Bible study.” Say what now? Oh Lord, my 5 minutes prayers are looking awfully weak in comparison. How do you pray for 2 hours without being distracted? I start praying for my kids and then my brain switches to managing mode and I start going over my mental checklist for that kid and before I know it I’ve switched from praying to planning. And after she prays, she does at least an hour of Bible study. Every day, 3 hours. Dang.
Another woman in our group (a Filipina grandma) said she keeps her Bible and notebook on the headboard of her bed and at the foot she has her tea kettle with her tea, mug, and everything all set up so when she wakes up she leans forward, turns on the kettle and starts studying without ever having to get out of bed. She shared if her bible reading makes her sleepy she will get up, go outside, and walk back and forth in front of her house a few times to wake up and then go back to her study. She did say that she has the privilege of doing this because she has no one else to take care of at this stage of her life. Let’s just say that I can not fathom the kind of discipline that she has. Here I am thinking that at the age of 40 I’m gaining maturity in my Christian life, only to find out that I’m really at a preschool level.
Another woman with kids said she wakes hers up a few minutes early every day so she can pray with them and for them before she sends them off to school. Meanwhile, if mine wake up I tell them to come snuggle in my bed so we can get a few more minutes of sleep before rushing out the door.
The Chinese women are sweet and shy. When they do talk I can only understand about 65% of what they say (accent deciphering problems). One of them shared about praying for an hour as she exercises by walking outside and said something about headphones. I think she listens to praise music or sermons. She also told a very animated story about someone who was sick (a friend? a housemaid?) and something about idols in the house and then praying for healing and not getting healed until the idols were thrown away. I nod and smile and say, “Amen” when everyone else does as I’m slightly awed by the passion and Holy Spirit stuff that they experience as real and vibrant.
I’m not talking about the Americans because they are just like me — we read the passage about the early church being devoted to prayer and the study of the Bible and I latched onto the fact that only the apostles did that, while delegating the jobs of helping the poor and distributing food to other people in the congregation. You know, that whole “all parts of the body are important” thing. Instead of reading that verse as a challenge to pray and study more I can read it as a confirmation that I’m “OK as I am. Just doing a different (but important) job while others are in charge of praying and studying.” I hate to break it to myself, but Netflix streaming and knitting are not essential jobs to the body of Christ.
Another woman shared that she was having a hard time staying awake during prayer and the African women said, “Then you need to either stand or kneel so you don’t fall asleep.” The American soothed her by saying, “But there is something very beautiful about falling asleep at the feet of Jesus.” We Americans like to take the easy path, don’t we?
Feeling challenged (in a good way) by these amazing women. They don’t have all the answers, but they are that much closer to getting them in the way that they are pursuing knowledge and wisdom. I think my need to “keep time” and make the best use of my time interferes with prayer because I always want to multi-task. I like to pray in bed, pray as I’m getting dressed, pray as I’m driving (as long as my brain lasts without being distracted — which is not long at all), but I’m going to have to practice being uncomfortable and just pray. Nothing else. I don’t know that I’ll ever make it to the 2 hour mark, but I can start with 5 minutes. Amen.
