Yes, I’m almost mid-40. It’s probably smack-dab mid-life (if I’m blessed with the longevity of my grandparents), but I’m not wishing I were any younger.
Compared to a year ago, I’m stronger and 10lbs lighter. I can do a pull-up (after 2.5 years worth of practice). I drink mostly coffee and sparking water — not nearly enough plain water. This year I switched from white wine to red and from cappuccinos to cold brew coffee. Though I still treat myself to cappuccinos on weekends whenever I get the chance. 
So what am I doing tonight on my 44th birthday? As I type, I’m sitting at a fancy table at the Four Seasons hotel, in a ballroom, accompanying Josh at a banquet for military related people who are working as civilians here in the UAE. He is networking, I’m being a good sport. He’s worth it and I have every confidence that he will be in high demand once he starts interviewing for jobs in February.
The best part about 44 is the peace that I have about life. I still get stressed, I grind my teeth in my sleep, and when someone is driving like a moron in front of me I’m not peaceful sounding at all, but I am at peace with the big picture. God is good, he is faithful, and whatever happens on earth I can be confident that he will redeem it all in eternity. Now to work on being at peace with my daily stresses.
I was watching Camille on her scooter last night as we walked home from dinner. She was relaxed and laughing as she’d shoot past us shrieking “fire in the hole!” She wasn’t stressed about packing for our trip to the US, or thinking about anything except the sidewalk right in front of her. I was a bit envious and it reminded me of Jesus saying, “whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” I have to give it all up — not just the big picture stress, but the day to day illusion of control. Inshallah, Inshallah (God willing), it’s my constant reminder. I need that hair blowing in the breeze, face to the sky, belly laugh essence of peace, just like my girlie. Focusing on this moment and not what is coming next.
(Mark 10:15)
