My girlie is a bundle of contradictions — she wants someone nearby as a security blanket when going to kid’s church or school, but she leaps at the opportunity to stay home by herself. Hmm, anxious about stupid stuff and loves to be home alone? Yeah, it’s the whole apple/tree thing. Everything that I think is weird about her is exactly what I could say about myself.
She’s been doing much better this past week as she counts down the days to spring break. She says she likes school, but she hates waking up in the morning. (Again with the mini-me thing.) I fear that all of the progress we’ve made over the past month will be wiped out with 2 weeks of vacation, but I’m going to enjoy the break and deal with the fallout of tears and clinging on April 7th (cause I know it will begin the night before school starts: “I don’t feel good. Can I stay home tomorrow?”).
If only we could repeat this week ad infinitum. She has been begging to ride the bus home after school by herself and stay alone in the house until I get home from work. After resisting a bit, I told her we’d try it once and see how it goes. Since her brothers have baseball practice after school, I am working, and her dad is traveling, her only option has been to come to the library and work on her homework (and to get in my hair and complain about not being able to go play on the playground and tell me she’s starving . . .)
Taking the bus home by herself gives her 90 minutes of freedom and autonomy. It would let me focus on finishing up my tasks for the day without having to juggle her needs at the same time. The idea also makes me feel a bit on edge since I’d be 20 minutes away at school, but she is probably the most responsible of all of my kids left at home and certainly the most conscientious and careful, so I finally said yes.
We agreed that she would call me as soon as she got home and that she wouldn’t eat, since I don’t want to worry about her choking on food while I’m not there. Has she ever choked on anything? No, not even as a baby. But that’s always been my rule when leaving kids alone at the beginning. It’s one less thing for me to obsess over as I wonder if they are OK.
She made it home and proudly called me, excitement in her voice. But then she was hungry. Of course she was — anyone would be after eating lunch at 11am. So we negotiated for scrambled eggs that she knows how to cook in the microwave. She had to call me after she was done cooking them (so I knew that she hadn’t left the microwave running for 10 minutes — something she actually did once which caused a fire) and again after she was finished eating.
Five minutes later she called and said she needed to go to the baqala (cold store/minimart) in our compound because we were out of milk and her scrambled eggs would taste weird without milk. God bless. I’m really being stretched here. I said she could go as long as she promised to look both ways as she crossed the street and . . . yep, call me when she got back.
All went well and the first thing she asked when I got home is if she could do it again the next day. Why not? She did exactly what she was supposed to do and it gave her a lot of confidence and power. It wasn’t the easiest transition for me, but I do want her to need me less and feel more comfortable in her own skin. I’m looking forward to next year when we plan to live close to school and she’ll be able to have more freedom with less stress for me, inshallah.
We made it to Spring Break! Hallelujah.
And yes, this is how we make it onto the bus every day — in some stage of undress or hair undone. Today we managed a braid, but no shoes. We are not morning people.