Month: April 2019

I’m sure you’re all sick of hearing about my state of perpetual limbo. A friend (Hi Jan!), asked when we would know more or be more certain of our future here and the answer to that is, “I don’t know” or “inshallah we will be here,” as both fit the circumstance.

But over the past month, and especially last week when Josh was in the US, he has felt more and more like he has a place within his new division, that he adds value, and that people are coming to rely on him. So over the weekend I determined that we should shift our focus from purgatory to making plans for the future. Now that last sentence makes it sound like I’m being bossy, but it happened as part of a conversation (many conversations!) evaluating Josh’s experiences over the past few months, his upcoming projects, several meetings he’s had with key people, and was a conclusion that I shared, rather than an edict from on high.

From my outside perspective (as the non-employee) I think the end of this year will come (August 1st) and the company will roll on, realizing that Josh’s presence here serves a unique and valuable purpose. Yes, to continue means they have to commit to another year of housing and school (big bucks), but I think inertia will prevail. When he transferred divisions in February his boss implied that he had 6 months to prove his worth, but since then has signed off on every request, been hands off, and let Josh have free rein to to the best job that he is able to do. We’ve seen repeatedly that because he is here he is the go to guy for a lot of different things for several different divisions. He’s the designated hitter, the pinch runner, and the relief pitcher, to use examples from baseball.

Changing our perspective from temporary to semi-permanent means that we buy a car (check), we talk about traveling for next year’s school breaks — I want to take the kids skiing/snowboarding again. Maybe we’ll go over spring break? It means we make plans (something we haven’t done for the past 2 years because of the uncertainty of retirement and then this first year of chaos). We stop protecting ourselves and commit to figuring out what living here long term looks like.

As for the other job offer that came up in February? We haven’t heard a peep since then. That offer was a lifeline that came at the perfect time and gave Josh the right mindset to do his job without fear or stress for the future, but as things look now, it’s not needed.

I’m already seeing results from having a longer term vision for living here. Camille has been brimming with confidence. Her latest refrain is, “I’m awesome,” and I love that she believes it. She is excited about coming back to school in August, starting 4th grade, and continuing with swimming (She’s learning butterfly stroke this month).

Whenever this ride ends, we know that God will provide for where we go next. For now we’ll grow roots and see how deep they can go.

My car died in early February and we’ve been in a rental car ever since. I can’t complain because the car is fine, but it’s not my car. I’ve never liked driving other people’s cars anyway and I prefer to drive something so familiar that I don’t have to think about the car, just the driving part.

But my rental days are almost behind me. We bought a car last weekend (put a deposit down) right before Josh left for the US. We hadn’t been actively looking, other than checking the used car websites online and getting a feel for what was available and the price ranges. We figured as it came closer to the end of the school year there would be more choices as people leave the country (for the past 3 years, every June has brought a mass exodus). 

The rental car company called the other night to ask if we were planning to renew for another month, which prompted me to scan the classifieds again. I don’t love the Kia. Its brakes are too touchy, the steering is really loose, and the tint is so dark that it feels like I’m driving at night even during the daytime. It’s probably because I’ve driven a Pajero (or Montero in the US) for the past 9 years, that I feel like I’m driving in a clown car when I’m in it — I hate being 2 inches off the ground. 

We wanted something with 4 wheel drive so we could go camping in the dunes, but we wanted to spend less than 40,000 aed (around $11,000). Since the bulk of the used cars are between 60,000 and 90,000 (and used Toyotas and Nissans are higher than that) we were asking a lot of our budget. 

I happened to find a 2104 Pajero that was listed for 38,000 and a 2010 for 29,000. We’ve always had a Pajero because they are a good value for what you get, BUT the Mitsubishis here (Gulf specs, for use in the GCC) have the annoying feature of persistent dinging when driving over 120 kph (75 mph). Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding . . . when the speed limit is 140 and even 160 in some areas, it means hours of driving with non-stop dinging in your ears. All makes of car have warning chimes/tones/beeps at the 120 kph mark (it’s the law), but they don’t all persist into infinity and beyond.

(**you can’t shut it off. We’ve tried. They have wired it in to vital systems so disabling it means losing your gas gauge, backup sensors, or other electronic systems that we actually need. There are numerous websites and discussion forums dedicated to trying to bypass the ding, with limited success.)

We looked at all other options and came to the conclusion that there was a reason we’ve settled on Mitsubishis in the Middle East: they are common, affordable, and they do what we need them to do (drive in all terrain and haul a big family). We agreed that as much as we hate the speed warning, we could put up with some dinging in exchange extra cash in our pocket — about $5-10k usd. For that kind of money, I’m happy to turn the radio up as needed. 

We got the car. The 2014. It’s the only one we looked at since we knew we wanted it as soon as we saw it and met the owner. It’s in great condition and to be able to get a car that’s only 5 years old in our budget is amazing. With the heat and the sand, cars here take a beating, but this one has been perfectly preserved.

It’s pretty and white — every car here is white. I didn’t want white for that very reason, but in this case it’s an appropriate color for a unicorn. And we bought a unicorn — a very quiet one. We found out shortly after purchasing . . . it doesn’t ding! There is no peep, chirp, flashing light, or speed warning of any kind when it hits 120.

It’s a miracle. It’s such a long shot that it didn’t even occur to us that we could hope for that one in a million vehicle. I don’t know if this car was imported at birth from another country, or how she got here — but I will take her shiny, quiet self and celebrate silently along with her every time I drive.

This weekend we are in Dubai for baseball. To show you how out of touch we are, as Josh was trying to book a hotel room for the night, he couldn’t figure out why everything was booked and why he couldn’t use his many million points for our stay. “There must be something going on … ”

Um, turns out it’s EASTER weekend. Good grief. We figured it out as we went to check in, saw the big signs advertising a special Easter brunch, and masses of tourists. That’s right. It’s a holiday for much of the world.

This weekend is Carter’s baseball league finals. 6 games over 3 days versus 4 other schools from Dubai and India (the American school in Doha is also in the league, but because of Qatar and UAE relations, Doha can’t attend when the tournament is hosted in UAE).

Anyway, the finals have been on the calendar for months and we knew Easter was coming, but didn’t think of it as being an event that would bring people to town. Our kids still have school on Sunday, just like any other week.

So we spent Good Friday at the baseball field. Maybe that’s sacrilegious in some way, but it wasn’t a moral dilemma for us when we made plans for the weekend. I grew up not playing any sports on Sunday because that was the day that belonged to God, but being in the Middle East, we live out the “no day is holier than another” principle (Romans 14) every single week by going to church on Friday and work/school on Sunday so we’re used to doing things differently. We also have a very different perception of the year from this side of the world, where holidays sneak up on us and pass without the usual buildup and fanfare so every day really does feel the same.

Besides, if you’ve read this blog for a while, you know that I hate the combined Good Friday/Easter Sunday service, which feels like being rushed through a 5 course meal. Going from the solemn and somber crucifixion to the triumphant resurrection in less than an hour doesn’t give me enough time to feel anything about any of it and I leave feeling restless and incomplete.

But today was a good day. Josh flew in from the US late last night (work trip) and we got up early and drove to Dubai in time for Carter’s first game of the day (they won both yesterday).

He played the best I’ve ever seen him play, cranking a double into left field, stealing bases, and hitting for another RBI. I was so glad to be there. Everyone knows that I don’t love baseball and my favorite part is the 3rd out of the last inning, but today was exceptional. I’m actually looking forward to doing it all over again tomorrow. (Though I wish I had a cushion for the cement benches!)

This weekend we are thankful for the grace that God has given us and the freedom to worship him whenever and wherever we are: in the Middle East, on any day of the week, and even from the benches behind home plate. Amen.

I finished a Michael Connelly book, The Wrong Side of Goodbye, and I suggested that Carter read it because he likes Lee Childs and they are similar in that formula cop/detective/crime solving way. Also, because I’m always looking for something that he will read.

I checked in with him a few days later and asked how he liked it. He replied that it was OK, but he was only on page 20. I encouraged him that it starts slowly, but the helicopter crash at the beginning comes back and ties in eventually.

“The helicopter doesn’t crash.”

Um, yes it does. The first section is all about a Vietnam helicopter and how it’s brought down by snipers.

“Oh, I didn’t read that part.”

How could you not read that part? It’s at the beginning of the book?

“I skipped all that stuff at the beginning and started with chapter one. If they wanted me to read it, it should have been labeled.”

Oh son, you kill me. The two pages written in italics after the title page didn’t clue you in that it was part of the story?

He still maintains that he was reading correctly and it’s the author’s fault for not formatting his book correctly, but said he will go back and read the beginning.

Wouldn’t you read this part too?

The story of his life. He’ll do exactly what needs to be done to accomplish the task in a satisfactory way and not a bit more. I can’t wait to see what he is going to do with his adult life and how he is going to use the gifts that God has given him. He has already determined he’s not going to college after he graduates and his latest plan is to enlist in the navy to get vocational training as part of the Construction Battalion (builder/electrician/mechanic/something like that).

Inshallah, inshallah. I’m glad he has a plan. I hope the Navy doesn’t expect him to do much reading.

This about sums it up: 10am, sound asleep. The black and white lump in the bed is Carter. I’ve always joked that we don’t need more than a two bedroom house because the kids always end up in the same bed anyway.

Ah, spring break sleep ins for everyone. The only reason I was awake before 10 this morning is because Camille had a friend coming over to play. It was a real sacrifice to set the alarm for 9am. It’s been a week of staying up late, sleeping in, and empty calendars. My kind of paradise.

The weather has still been crazy. We had thunder, lightning, and heavy rain last night and it’s gray and gloomy today and looks like it could still rain again, with a sprinkle here and there. It’s still hot (90 something), but from inside it looks like the kind of day to stay inside by the fireplace, curled up with a book. I’m good with all of that (except for the fireplace part).

I keep encouraging the kids to read or do something that’s not in front of a screen, but they are in gaming mode. It’s kind of cute because they are playing together (including Camille) and also playing with school friends, even those who are on vacation. I admit I felt better last night when I asked who they were playing with and they named friends who are vacationing in Ireland. At least mine are only wasting time at home and not wasting time in a foreign country. (Just kidding. I know they were back at the hotel for the evening and probably needed some downtime after a day of sightseeing).

They also play with their cousins and that’s a redeeming factor too. I love hearing them call out, “Jack! Go over there. Protect me!” and know that they are still able to maintain relationships with family despite being as far apart as possible on the globe. So I’m going to bite my tongue and let them be. At least for a few more days. Besides, when they’re busy gaming, I get to be busy knitting and marathoning episodes of The Resident, my latest favorite show. It’s like ER meets Revenge, with drama, comedy, and suspense all wrapped up in one show. Good times.