Month: January 2021

My brain feels like a noisy conference room where all the people present are trying to talk over each other and none of the voices has anything to add to the discussion. 

That’s where I am on my vaccine problem today. They are coming to our school on Sunday to give it to all staff who want it. I don’t want it, but I’m also tired having it hanging over my head. If I’m going to end up having to do it eventually, I might as well save myself a lot of stress and pressure and just do it now. I’m tired of waiting for the next level of pressure to be announced in order to “support the choice to vaccinate,” I’m tired of sitting in a car for 3 hours in a drive through line to get my nose swabbed. (NOT exaggerating), and I’m TIRED mentally of all of it. 

Interlude. I wrote the above on Wednesday and I was too tired to finish writing. I had a fit, yelled at Josh, and was in a bad mood, but that evening Josh and I met with a couple that we have Bible study with weekly (and also talk about life, marriage, money politics and anything else that comes up) and by the end I had thoroughly sorted through my feelings and examined my options from every direction and felt at peace.

Now it’s a week and a 1/2 later and I’ve settled into my position, so let me sum up what life looks like today.

A week ago the vaccine testing team came to our school to vaccinate everyone. It was not mandatory, thankfully (unlike the “not mandatory” vaccine for government and service employees that left people with no viable option other than to get it or lose their jobs). But because the notice went out saying, “Do you want to travel and not have to quarantine? Come get vaccinated!” about 98% of staff, by my estimate either has had it or got it. I know of 4 others beside me who are still waiting.

Ironically, 4 hours later, the government announced via Instagram that because of a spike in cases they increased the testing requirements to travel to Dubai and adjusted the quarantine rule to include those who had the vaccine. That’s right folks, even those who have had the vaccine now have to do a 10 day house arrest with a tracking bracelet upon return. (Unless you traveled to China, the Isle of Mann or a few of the other random countries on the “green” list.) So the difference in restrictions between vaccinated people and unvaccinated? Almost zero. Cue annoyed and disappointed people once again.

Before all this, I had decided to wait because there was no benefit to take it at this time. It didn’t reduce my testing cycle (still had to be tested for school every 2 weeks), I’m not planning to travel for spring break, and I had a few other concerns regarding its source and efficacy. I’m tired of the rollercoaster of announcements and thought that maybe taking it and putting it behind me would change things and give me more freedom, but Josh reminded me that’s not how things work. I didn’t realize he’d be right so quickly though!

Now we are about to start week 4 of remote school, with at least one more week after that. It’s going as well as can be expected. The kids are tired of it, but they are doing their best and their teachers are as well. I’m only going in to school a few times each week and doing most of my work from home.

We had to move Josh’s office upstairs since remote school was extended. We hoped he’d have less distractions working from the second floor, but his work colleagues decided to make the move with him.

The kids may want to go back to school, but the dogs are very happy to have everyone at home.

I’m in the middle of writing a post about the roller coaster of emotions I had last week related to living here/vaccination/covid/school closures/etc — and that’s without any social media. I would have been absolutely mental if I had all that extra input from others. I had enough frustration and ill-will without feeding that fire with extra fuel. And when I say roller coaster, it’s more the plunging and dropping and twisting part of the ride, because there wasn’t a whole lot of up. (That was last week and I’ve made my peace with things, but I’m a bit wary of bringing the rage back by hashing through it again. I will, just not today).

But that brings me to #yarnwatch! I know you’re all on the edge of your seats, waiting to find out if my yarn actually made it into my hands. I can confirm that yes, I finally have 900 grams of a gorgeous cotton/cashmere/angora blend in an oatmeal color (which is perfect for dying). I love this yarn because it’s soft and machine washable/dry-able.

But, to get it I had to wait 40 minutes with my eyes glued to the computer screen, waiting for an online chat representative (the chat window didn’t have an alert sound so I couldn’t be on another window at the same time), give the guy the reference numbers to my 3 different complaints and then he said, “Ok someone will call you.” Hmm, that’s the answer I got the last 3 times I filed a request.

But a few days later I did get a phone call and managed to answer it and the woman said, “I am scheduling your delivery for Saturday between 8 and 4pm. You must pay 30aed.” (All delivery is like this and you have to be home to receive packages. No matter that your entire day is shot . . . ) I told her I wouldn’t be home on Saturday and she said, “OK, Sunday. 8 am to 4” and promptly hung up.

Since Josh is working from home all day, that’s not too terrible. But then I got a text on Saturday, when I was still in the middle of the desert, saying that the delivery driver was on his way and I needed to be home to meet him. Sigh. It never fails. I sent him a message saying I wasn’t home, but would be home after 12pm and if he could redeliver at that time that would be great. And miraculously, he did.

And what was I doing this weekend? More camping. The desert is beautiful this time of year and this weekend there was no moon so millions of stars were on display in the sky.

We drove about 90 minutes outside the city, pulled off to the side of the road, deflated our tires so we could drive over the sand, and drove a 1/4 mile up and down the dunes into the desert where no one else was around except the people in our group.

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Our little tents among the giant dunes

We had a great time, with a bit of extra work to pack up in the morning because of the thick fog. It was crystal clear at night (as you can see in the star photo) and then the fog rolled in sometime before 4am. I knew that because at 4am Star began pacing around the tent, jumping on us and panting and she wouldn’t settle. It turns out that she ate too many treats (trying to calm her around the other dogs that were out there) and had intestinal distress requiring a middle of the night walk in the cold thick fog.

I thought the fog would would clear out as the sun came up, but by the time we left camp at 10am visibility was still really low.

We headed home, mentally preparing to go back to school the following day, only to see on Instagram on the way home (not me, someone texted the announcement to me) that we were all being put on 3 more weeks of remote school. With less than 24 hours notice. After all teachers and students had spend hours waiting and getting PCR tests.

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Dear Lord, as we begin a new year, with fresh hopes, dreams, and goals, I pray that our primary desire would be to serve you and that our goals would be aligned with your desires for our lives. I thank you that your mercies are new every morning and it doesn’t take a January 1st to start over when we’ve fallen short. Please help us to be merciful with others as you are merciful with us.

Matthew 6:33 — seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you (RRV — Robin’s remembering version). I thank you that I don’t have to worry about daily things, but that if I follow you, all that I need will be provided. Thank you that what I want isn’t always what I need and that you protect me from things that I shouldn’t have by saying No.

I pray that as a church we would draw close to you through your word; that we would know your commands and follow them, even the difficult ones like “love your neighbor.” May the fruit of the spirit grow in us. May those around us see Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Goodness, Kindness, Faithfulness and Self-Control when they look at our speech and our actions. May we look different than everyone else.

I pray as things move forward with the vaccine program here, that both leaders and residents would act with wisdom and not react out of fear. I pray for those who are required to take the vaccine because of their job. Lord, please protect them, help it to be effective, and may it be the thing that brings this sickness to an end in this country.

I pray for those who are making a decision regarding vaccination. I pray that you’d give them wisdom and assurance for the choice they have to make. I pray that you would open doors and close them, making the way clear. I pray that decisions wouldn’t have to be made based on coercion or fear, but that people would have freedom and autonomy over their bodies.

And I pray for those who are resisting on principle (ME!). That you would either strengthen or weaken resolve as required. I’m willing to do whatever for the sake of the gospel, but I don’t want to be unwise OR unnecessarily stubborn. I don’t have the answers and I pray that you would provide them to those who are similarly struggling.

I pray for those students who are going back to school. I pray that they would be able to go back without any delays and that they’d be able to remain in school. I pray for both mental and physical health as they get readjusted to being back in a classroom and around others — some for the first time in 11 months! I pray that education would be a priority and that the government would do everything possible to bring back much of what has been lost. Sports, clubs, service activities, community building events . . . so many are struggling with feeling disconnected and purposeless. I pray that you would restore what has been lost. Above all I pray that when people feel lost, that it would drive them to be found by you.

I pray for the economic health of UAE and its residents. All of the economic losses of the past 12 months are adding up and the full extent of the damage isn’t known yet. Father, please bring blessing to this country and shower it financially (and with literal rain, we can always use rain).

Finally I pray for security and safety. I thank you that we live in such a peaceful country and that it provides security to all of us. I pray that peace will remain. I thank you for the restoration of the relationship with Qtar and pray that they will continue to unite and strengthen relationships with other countries in the region. Thank you for how you have blessed us through living here and I pray that will continue. Amen.

In an attempt to retain my peace, I’ve decided that I’m taking an absence from Facebook and Instagram (and I don’t Tweet, so leaving Twitter is a non-issue). Between local online groups arguing about the vaccine, American friends arguing about politics and the 25th amendment, and the world arguing about covid, I need a safe space from all that discord. So I’m limiting myself to only reading Mumsnet, where the arguments over whether it’s classless and grim to have a toilet brush in the bathroom are a lot less personal. (Yes, that’s a real example.)

The final straw for me was this new vaccine mandate for public sector workers and for the service industry here. People are arguing over whether it’s fair or legal to force individuals into a vaccine by making their job dependent upon it. (It’s not fair, but it’s definitely legal here.) For example, the vaccine “isn’t mandatory,” but at least one major company has said you can’t come onto the premises to work unless you’ve been vaccinated. And in most cases here, leaving your job means leaving the country as your residence visa is tied to your employer. I’ve decided it’s not healthy for me to read all the back and forth and try to figure out when the rules will creep my way (into private schools — Josh thinks it will be soon) or into Josh’s place of business. They are still working from home, but if he’s not allowed to enter the military bases or meet with other government entities without the vaccine, then he can’t do his job.

Anyway, I’ve decided I can’t control it and I don’t need to feed my “what ifs” so I’m cutting myself off from all that. As things change so fast here and flip back and forth, I’m better off waiting until all of this has been ultimately decided and then we can figure out what we will do.

My latest local adventure/hassle has been trying to get a package delivered to my house. I ordered some yarn from the UK and it came into the country. It has my address on it, but someone always calls to ask for my address and set up a time for delivery. And they usually want me to send their driver a pin so they can locate my address. And if there’s no phone number on the package? They send it back without even trying (been there, done that 3 times over).

So, I had a missed call a week before New Years and I called right back, but it’s an automated system and supposedly they would return my call in a few hours when they weren’t so busy “because of Covid,” but nothing ever happened. When I finally filed a complaint online someone called me back and said my package had been transferred to the local postal system and I would have to call them to schedule delivery. Of course she had to give me a reference number to the package and I was out in public in a noisy space so our conversation went like this:

“ay bee eight three seven vee vee”

Wait, ay bee eight three seven vee vee?

“No, ay bee eight three seven vee vee“

What? Ay bee?

“No, ay VEE“

And continue like that for eight more painful digits. And the last two letters were “zee, zee” which I figured out after process of elimination ruled out vee and cee . . . I hate talking on the phone here.

So I’ve called — operators are busy, “because of Covid,” and I’ve logged multiple requests on the website which have been received and will be followed up within “3 business days,” but nada. How difficult is it to deliver a package with an address on it? But it won’t happen until I confirm that the address they have is correct and I can’t do that if I can’t talk to a human. I’ll be so annoyed if they send my package back to the UK without contacting me . . . #YarnWatch2020 has become #YarnWatch2021

In case anyone was waiting around for the resolution to the cat story, I won by eventually getting the cat outside, she won by leaving diarrhea and pee under my couch before she exited the building. So I guess it’s a draw? (Thankfully no carpets were harmed in the cleanup process.)

I know the world’s attention is on the dumpster fire in DC today, but all I’ll say is I’m thoroughly disappointed that our election and transfer of power this year looks like something out of a developing country. I expect that garbage from some of our neighbors over here, not from my home. I feel like a mom that wants to say, “you’ve all misbehaved, you’re all in trouble, and you all need to go home until I can think of a suitable punishment!”

Meanwhile, over here . . . my country of residence is cranking out the vaccine like it’s a newly discovered oil well. (I’m intentionally saying my country of residence because I don’t need a bot trolling the internet and finding this post and reporting it to the government. You think I’m joking . . . nope). In world record setting fashion, they’ve set a goal to vaccinate 50% of the 10 million residents by the end of the 1st quarter and in order to reach that goal they are making it extremely onerous to do anything other than line up and get the jab.

Since what they’re giving out hasn’t been approved by any internationally recognized body and they won’t publish the results of the trials that they conducted this summer AND because they still require people to be tested every two weeks even after having the vaccine, that’s a firm, “no thank you” from us. It may mean that we may have to exit the country as Josh won’t be able to do his job without the vaccine eventually, but we are praying that it won’t come to that. (They’ve already mandated it for public sector workers, but not for us yet.)

We’ll continue to hold everything loosely and be flexible, but I’m getting so tired of uncertainty. I thought that retiring would give us something to hang on to and that we could put stakes in the ground, but in spite of living in the same house for 2 1/2 years, I’ve never felt more unsettled month to month.

https://youtu.be/K2c-xTOQinc

And to end on a happy note, two things from my girl. First, her broadcast debut on the school webcast. She will hate that I made this public, but someday she’ll be happy that I saved it. And second, wintertime walks with her girl. Two things that brought me joy today.