I’m in a slump. I’m pretty sure I’m depressed. Not the depression that is accompanied by tears and sadness, but my old frenemy apathy. I’ve realized this week that I’ve retreated to numb, unfeeling robot mode again. The only emotions breaking through are irritation and exasperation.
Everything seems like too much work and not worth the effort. Dinner? Nothing sounds good to eat so why bother cooking. We’ll call and order something or let the kids eat on base.
Getting up in the morning? There’s nothing to do, nowhere to go, it is 100 degrees and 98% humidity so we might as well stay home and hibernate. Especially since all the kids want to do is lie around and watch TV anyway.
I’m hoping this week, now that Ramadan is over, that I can find some things to do that will make all of us happy and that something will crack through this shield that causes me to be there, but not PRESENT.
I’m fine. I’m sure this will pass. It’s just the soul-sucking mental and physical exhaustion that comes with living overseas that rears its head every so often. I vaguely remember feeling like this last summer . . . And yes, the summer before that. Bahrain has been hard for me. I don’t hate it, I don’t love it . . . It’s just, meh. . . . Anyone else sensing a common theme here?
At the movie Planes, trying to act my way into a feeling. The arguing over popcorn, sodas, and questions about how long until the movie starts aren’t helping.