Author: Robin Chartier

Good things are happening here — we joined a new gym that is only 5 minutes from our house and we’re making friends and connections at church. We’ve been embraced in record time and feel at home in both places. We even started hosting a Life Group of people from church and are getting together with them weekly.

I shared my blog address with someone recently which usually causes me to rush and reread recent posts to see how much crazy I have revealed to an unsuspecting person who only knows me from “normal” life. I’m pretty transparent here (about the things I can be) and I have very little pride left, but it’s always good to do a reality check now and then to see how I’ve presented myself to the world.

What I realized as I read back over this past year is just how much stress we’ve been under. Repeated job uncertainty, money stresses, and all of the hassle and strain that comes with several major life transitions occurring simultaneously. It made me tired all over again just reading about it. (I also begrudgingly admitted to myself that I’m not a 1/2 bad storyteller and I even cracked myself up a few times so yay for that.)

But the past several weeks pieces of our future have been fitting into place. Of course what I expected next year to look like and the picture these new pieces are forming is very different. But why be surprised? Change is the new normal. My dad joked that 20 years of military life has all been practice for the unpredictability of retirement.

I’ve been waiting all week to post, hoping that I could share more than vague puzzle analogies, but the Memorial Day holiday on the US side and Ramadan on our side means nothing new is happening this week. I can say:

1. I expect to be in Abu Dhabi next year
2. I expect my job to stay the same. Yay, ACS.
3. I’m happy about the new things coming our way.

Less than one month until I’m back in the US with my baby (grown-up) boy. Good thing I didn’t have to wait that long to see him! He arrived last night to spend 2 weeks with us after finishing his semester finals. He was playing guitar and singing tonight and it’s exactly what I was hoping it would be like to have an adult kid.

Yes, Carter is happy about the extra height he has acquired over the last 6 months. His ego is about as long as his legs. We’ll be back at the airport in two days when we head to Thailand for a family vacation. Happy Eid and 5 days off from school!

I blinked and now it’s the month of Ramadan. Our 9th. Our very first Ramadan we were living in Oman and escaped to Turkey for 2 weeks where we could eat and drink freely during the day. Back then it was in August, but after 9 times of moving 10 days earlier each year, Ramadan is in May for 2019.

Back then during Ramadan people stayed home to escape the heat, nothing was open during the day (and most expats who were able left the country for the summer), but now it’s business as (almost) usual, with kids going to school and having to work around the “no eating and drinking in public” law when their entire day is spent in the public eye.

Technically kids (under 12ish) are exempt from fasting, but there are Muslim kids who are fasting so the school has designated places to eat and resting rooms for those kids not eating. Camille said in her class this year they have to face the wall if they want to take a sip out of their water bottles so as to be sensitive to those who are fasting. That’s an easier requirement than last year where they had to go into a closet to get a drink.

Since we’ve moved to the Middle East, Josh and I have been discussing how the “no eating and drinking in public” mandate will stand up when it really begins to affect the larger community of non-Muslim residents and particularly tourism. In other words, NOW, when it’s falling within the school year and when it moves even earlier into the cruise ship season . . . is it sustainable?

It’s a 37 year cycle, so 20 years ago, when Ramadan was happening in December, having such a restrictive law wasn’t an issue because people weren’t spending their tourism dollars in the Middle East. This is the first cycle through where money is going to face off against religion and I think money will come out on top, especially with the recent downturn in oil prices and other economic belt tightening that has been happening in the region in recent years.

We are already seeing major changes. In only 3 years, over 3 different Ramadans, we have seen a move toward accessibility and accommodation to those not fasting.

2017: a select few restaurants who had permits to be open during the day (I can think of two: Third Place and Jones the Grocer). Permits were difficult to obtain and expensive. In Yas mall the food court was screened in and the number of food places open was not nearly enough to meet demand — lines were 10 deep.

2018: Several more restaurants open, as the permit process had been made easier and less expensive. Also, the first brunches were held with alcohol served during the day, and more malls with open and screened food courts. Coffee was takeaway only. I could order Starbucks as it’s open, but they put everything in a bag and I had to leave to drink it. Thankful for dark tinted windows on my car so I didn’t have to wait until I got home. The alternative was sipping in the bathroom stall. Yep, I’ve done that too.

2019: Some chain restaurants open in the mall (like Five Guys and La Brioche!), coffee places (costa/starbucks/etc) open for dine in, rather than the annoying takeaway only (this is my favorite change), kids are having lunch at school rather than just a snack in the classroom.

This year we were discussing and predicting 3 years until eating and drinking is public is allowed. That might be optimistic, but we are seeing exponential changes year to year, rather than gradual.

We saw the biggest change this year in Dubai on our annual pilgrimage to Atlantis with our friends. During Ramadan last year they had screened the food outlets or kept them closed until after sunset, but this year everything was open and operating as if it were a normal day. Food everywhere, people walking drinking both alcohol and non-alcoholic drinks, and music playing (usually music is forbidden during Ramadan).

I can’t wait for the day when I can snap a selfie of daytime coffee drinking during Ramadan and have it not be from the floor of my car or under a desk. On the flip side though, Ramadan always reminds me to be thankful for God’s grace. That he doesn’t require me to fast or sacrifice to earn anything, but that HE sacrificed for me instead.

I find that as the burden of fasting is lifted (like when I can easily run into a restaurant for lunch instead of being inconvenienced), I’m less conscious of the freedom I’ve been given in Christ and I don’t want to forget that. When I’m frustrated by not being able to eat or drink I try and remember to pray for those who don’t know that freedom and that they would come to know God for themselves.

I have new eyeballs, glory hallelujah. I’ve been struggling all year with contacts that did not play nicely with my eyes. Blame it on the: climate/sand/grit/excessive AC/all of the above. And an uncooperative left eye that had me swapping my contacts for reading glasses as soon as I got home from work every evening.

I needed the reading glasses because it seems that I’m always reading something — phone, labels, books, food packaging . . . if there’s something in print, my brain tries to read it. But wearing reading glasses all evening made me feel off balance. Like I was going to miss a stair or bump into a doorway because my depth perception was off. (Yep, it happened. Ouch.)

I have had multiple people in AD tell me they had to switch to daily contacts because they had too many problems with the longer wear ones. So as soon as I ran through my last set, I ran to the eye doctor for a new prescription and to test drive some new eyeballs.

Bless. I can see again. Out of both eyes. Near and far. It’s amazing. I can wear them all day so I hardly need the cute glasses that I got as a backup. Yes, they are bifocals (progressive) so I have to learn to use them and find myself tilting my chin up and down to compare distance and reading vision. Crazy old lady eyeballs.

I don’t love the extra plastic and trash that comes from wearing daily lenses, as each one comes in a separate plastic bubble, ugh, but I love that I don’t feel like clawing my eyes out all the time. Sorry planet, but it’s been a long year of irritation and I’m not going back now. However, as soon as I can get on the affordable bionic eyeball implant list, sign me up. I’d be happy to save the planet and have perfect vision at the same time.

This has been the craziest spring of 9 in the Middle East. Where’s the heat? I mean, it’s hot, but it’s not HOT. Lately we’ve been having hot California style days rather than blistering, oppressive, sweat-drenched mad dashes from the car to indoors. It’s May and we haven’t even complained that it’s hot yet. That never happens.

So my garden continues in lush abandon. Soaking up the growing rays instead of shriveling under the burning eye in the sky. I’m growing basil, sweet potatoes, squash, grapes, and eggplant along with some flowering vines.

Enjoying this harvest season as long as it lasts and planning future plantings for October. This year everything grew as a volunteers from my composting (discarded seeds sprouting here and there). Next season I’ll clear out some of the squash vines to make room for more tomatoes. It makes me happy to think about planting again in this space.

I’m sure you’re all sick of hearing about my state of perpetual limbo. A friend (Hi Jan!), asked when we would know more or be more certain of our future here and the answer to that is, “I don’t know” or “inshallah we will be here,” as both fit the circumstance.

But over the past month, and especially last week when Josh was in the US, he has felt more and more like he has a place within his new division, that he adds value, and that people are coming to rely on him. So over the weekend I determined that we should shift our focus from purgatory to making plans for the future. Now that last sentence makes it sound like I’m being bossy, but it happened as part of a conversation (many conversations!) evaluating Josh’s experiences over the past few months, his upcoming projects, several meetings he’s had with key people, and was a conclusion that I shared, rather than an edict from on high.

From my outside perspective (as the non-employee) I think the end of this year will come (August 1st) and the company will roll on, realizing that Josh’s presence here serves a unique and valuable purpose. Yes, to continue means they have to commit to another year of housing and school (big bucks), but I think inertia will prevail. When he transferred divisions in February his boss implied that he had 6 months to prove his worth, but since then has signed off on every request, been hands off, and let Josh have free rein to to the best job that he is able to do. We’ve seen repeatedly that because he is here he is the go to guy for a lot of different things for several different divisions. He’s the designated hitter, the pinch runner, and the relief pitcher, to use examples from baseball.

Changing our perspective from temporary to semi-permanent means that we buy a car (check), we talk about traveling for next year’s school breaks — I want to take the kids skiing/snowboarding again. Maybe we’ll go over spring break? It means we make plans (something we haven’t done for the past 2 years because of the uncertainty of retirement and then this first year of chaos). We stop protecting ourselves and commit to figuring out what living here long term looks like.

As for the other job offer that came up in February? We haven’t heard a peep since then. That offer was a lifeline that came at the perfect time and gave Josh the right mindset to do his job without fear or stress for the future, but as things look now, it’s not needed.

I’m already seeing results from having a longer term vision for living here. Camille has been brimming with confidence. Her latest refrain is, “I’m awesome,” and I love that she believes it. She is excited about coming back to school in August, starting 4th grade, and continuing with swimming (She’s learning butterfly stroke this month).

Whenever this ride ends, we know that God will provide for where we go next. For now we’ll grow roots and see how deep they can go.