Tag: funny

ladylike

So my little darling has decided that it’s fun to stick things up her nose and in her ears. I swear the boys never did this. Sure they stuck their fingers up their noses (and still do) and one proudly declared that his boogers were yummy because they tasted salty, but this foreign object thing up the nose is freaking me out.

First was the broken off lead from a colored pencil. She went up to Lucy and pointed at her nose a few times, saying something urgent in her baby gibberish. Then she sneezed and the pointy green tip of a pencil came flying out. Lucy saved it to show me.

Then the other night we were out at a restaurant and she snagged a kernel of corn from the salad and instead of putting it in her mouth, shoved it up one nostril. It was totally classy the way Josh had her in his lap, turned upside down, trying to peer up her nose. He thought maybe I was imagining things because he couldn’t see anything, but I insisted that the corn left her hand and disappeared up her nose. He managed to massage it down and then picked it out with the tines of a fork. Like I said, totally classy.

Yesterday it was a tic-tac. I would have thought that tic-tacs were too yummy to waste on a nose, but she ate one half and shoved the other half up her nose. A two for one, I guess. This time a pocketknife set of tweezers came to the rescue.

Finally, today we were eating lunch and I look over to see her grinning and trying to shove bits of steak up her nose. Why?! She thought it tasted so good that her other orifices would enjoy it too? Or maybe she’s realized that every girl needs a purse and has created one out of those handy little pockets in her face? Whatever the reason, I’m sure it’s going to end up in an all-expense paid trip to Muscat Private hospital one of these days.

Until then I’ve been preparing by googling home remedies for “object stuck up baby’s nose” — supposedly closing off the unaffected nostril, sealing your mouth over baby’s, and blowing hard to force the object out is the way to go. I guess that will have to do until she figures out that treasures come out of the nose, they don’t go in.

Hallelujah!

The boys just left for their last day of school before Christmas vacation and I can proudly say that I made it through the entire semester, trimester (whatever it is that they’re doing here) of getting up early and getting them off to school.

Every day I woke them up (OK, Calvin did wake me up once or twice), made sure they were dressed in the appropriate uniform — not an easy task because every other day was a PE uniform day and Carter and Caleb were not on the same schedule — checked to see if take-home folders were back in backpacks and homework was signed, figured out if it was AWANA or library day and finding the appropriate books (or yelling at that particular kid to find said books), organized shoe hunts (every day it seemed like people were missing shoes right as the bus was pulling up), and corralled them all to the kitchen to sit down and eat breakfast.

The part I’m most proud of is I actually sat down and ate breakfast with them each day and read to them from Bible and prayed before they left. I couldn’t have done all this without the help of my “sister wife” Lucy, who got breakfast on the table every day and packed the boys’ lunches, but for this night owl who is a 10am riser at heart, getting up before 7 every day is a BIG FAT DEAL.

So I’m accepting this award for Most Improved Morning Routine with pride and I plan to celebrate by sleeping in for the next two weeks. Merry Christmas to me!

Lost in Translation again

Josh had the day off today so we went to the 1 rial store in search of stocking stuffers — everything in the store costs between 25 cents and $2.60. My favorite part of shopping in these kinds of places is seeing the things that are trying to be American, but aren’t quite right. 
Who needs to go to Santa Cruz when we can buy O’neil products right here in Oman? 

Points for correct comma placement or this would look like a plea to engage in child trafficking. 


Ah, Disney Princessrs, the lesser-known family of Disney characters.

I didn’t buy these glasses, but I was tempted to get them as a gift for one of my sisters. Only funny if you have a mango allergy.

When I need inspiration, I look to the cover of my Miley Cyrus notebook. 
(enlarged below)

Now you can smell like the POTUS too.


“Be Queen?” Yes, because every queen drinks out of a plastic cup.

We caved and got a basket for all of our “treasures.”

For those times when you can’t decide if you want to play hockey or go hunting . . .
Yeah . . . no comment.

sick

Early this morning we were awakened by the sweet sounds of vomit being spewed from somewhere down the hall. Josh raced out of the room to help the unknown victim (although odds were on Caleb since he had thrown up the night before and Calvin, while feverish, hadn’t displayed any signs of puking) and I heard a loud thud and a small voice ask, “are you OK?”

So I dash out of bed and see Josh lying on the tile at the end of the hallway. He slipped in the vomit in the hallway (as Caleb had almost made it to the bathroom before throwing up) and landed hard, slamming his foot into the doorjamb, cracking a toenail in the process.

The commotion woke Carter, who immediately wanted to know if he could go open his Lego and chocolate advent calendars (really?!), and the baby who had been sleeping next to me. By the time Caleb and Josh showered off I had gotten the baby back to sleep, but then I was wide awake.

So much for a relaxing weekend spent sleeping in . . .

raising them right

Occasionally there are issues on the school bus — especially because the bus is mixed with students from Elementary, Middle, and High School. Today my three got off the bus, the younger two in tears because they got in a fight with one of the high school boys who was picking on one of their friends.

Caleb was upset because the 9th grader was swearing at him and giving him the finger and Caleb confessed, “Mom, I spelled ‘S, H, I, T’ at him because I know I’m not supposed to say it.”

At least his spelling is improving . . .